The Honor of "No!"

"When the king's decree which he will make is proclaimed throughout all his empire (for it is great), all wives will honor their husbands, both great and small."" (Esther 1:20 NKJV)

Honor is not a virtue to be demanded.  Those who demand honor receive contempt.  And those who require respect receive resentment.  Honor is earned through compassion, faithfulness, and goodness.  Honor is born out of a relationship of mutual trust and respect.  A respect that Ahasuerus failed to give Vashti when he requested her presence before his drunken assembly.  But a respect that Vashti nobly gave Ahasuerus in her refusal to appear before him and bring disgrace upon the throne of the Medes and Persians and all it stood for.  

I like what Ellen White says about Vashti's courage:

When this command came from the king, Vashti did not carry out his orders, because she knew that wine had been freely used, and that Ahasuerus was under the influence of the intoxicating liquor. For her husband's sake as well as her own, she decided not to leave her position at the head of the women of the court. 

It was when the king was not himself, when his reason was dethroned by wine-drinking that he sent for the queen, that those present at his feast, men besotted by wine, might gaze on her beauty. She acted in harmony with a pure conscience.

Vashti refused to obey the king's command, thinking that when he came to himself, he would commend her course of action. But the king had unwise advisers. They argued it would be a power given to woman that would be to her injury. (Conflict and Courage, p. 243).

It is tragic that Vashti's respect for her husband and king was not reciprocated.  Instead she was banished from his presence.  However, we should not let this discourage us from showing true honor and respect to those people of influence whom God puts in our lives.  We shouldn't let us dissuade us from saying "No" to the most powerful and prestigious early rulers when it means saying "Yes" to the will of our God.  Many times, as in the case of Vashti and Ahasuerus, the greatest honor we can give to earthly rulers is the honor of "No," or the honor of "I cannot do this for it would not bring honor to my God and King."  Our allegiance is ultimately to another.  And we can only honor earthly rulers to the extent that we are honoring God.

Jesus speaks of the honor he shall bestow upon those who honor Him before men, while at the same time giving a sobering warning to those who refuse to honor Him first and foremost:

""Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 10:32–33 NKJV).

O may we honor Him first and foremost.  And may we have the courage to bestow upon our fellow men The Honor of "No!"