"Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?" Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on." (1Samuel 18:8-9 NAS95S)
Observation: Saul's trust was in His appearance, while David's trust was in His God. Saul was concerned about how he looked in comparison to the young shepherd boy. This is not unlike the time when He went ahead and offered a burnt offering at Gilgal because the people were leaving him. And when confronted by Samuel, he said:
""Because I saw that the people were scattering from me, and that you did not come within the appointed days, and that the Philistines were assembling at Michmash, therefore I said, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not asked the favor of the LORD.' So I forced myself and offered the burnt offering." (1Samuel 13:11-14 NAS95S)
Saul's mistake was thinking the favor of the Lord came through burt offering; through a ritual or by going through the motions. His mistake was thinking that his greatest loss was his soldiers departure. This was no loss at all. Rather it was an invitation to pray. An invitation to wait upon the Lord. And an invitation to trust. But rather than trusting, Saul took matters into his own hands. Rather than waiting, He said, I must go to work.
Later, he will do the same thing with the King of Amelek. Rather than trusting the Lord and being obedient to His word, Saul works to maintain his reputation:
""I have sinned; I have indeed transgressed the command of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and listened to their voice. "Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me, that I may worship the LORD." But Samuel said to Saul, "I will not return with you; for you have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you from being king over Israel." As Samuel turned to go, Saul seized the edge of his robe, and it tore. So Samuel said to him, "The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to your neighbor, who is better than you. "Also the Glory of Israel will not lie or change His mind; for He is not a man that He should change His mind." Then he said, "I have sinned; but please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and go back with me, that I may worship the LORD your God." So Samuel went back following Saul, and Saul worshiped the LORD." (1Samuel 15:24-31 NAS95S)
Unfortunately, even as Saul confesses his sin, he refuses to forsake His sin: "I feared the people and listened to their voice," and yet he never came apart to make reconciliation with the Lord. Instead he asks Samuel, "honor me now before the elders... go back with me, that I may worship the Lord your God."
In reality, Saul would not be worshiping Samuel's God, rather He would be worshipping his god: The god of appearance, and the god of reputation. His position had blinded him to his condition. His identity was in his title rather than in the Almighty. If his identity had been in the Lord, he could have accepted the loss of the kingdom, he could have accepted God's rejection of him as king over Israel because he would have understood that this wasn't a rejection of him as a person. He would have seen that while he was no longer Israel's King, He was still God's child. And that's what matters most.
Application: Yes, It's not the title we hold, or the accolades we receive that matter most. Rather, it is the Father we call upon. Jesus put it this way:
"do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven."" (Luke 10:20 NAS95S)
As leaders, as church members, as professionals, we may have a moral fall. We may make a grave mistake. We may even be stripped of power and prestige. But this is no cause for weeping.
No use crying over the loss of prestige or position. What we must weep over is the potential loss of our salvation. What we must weep over is if our names were to be erased from heaven's record.
However, God will not let us go without a fight. We might loose fame, or fortune, or even family. But we cannot loose his love, as Sara Groves so poignantly sings in her song, You Cannot Loose My Love:
You Cannot Lose My Love
You will lose your baby teeth.
At times, you'll lose your faith in me.
You will lose a lot of things,
But you cannot lose my love.
You may lose your appetite,
Your guiding sense of wrong and right.
You may lose your will to fight,
But you cannot lose my love.
You will lose your confidence.
In times of trial, your common sense.
You may lose your innocence,
But you cannot lose my love.
Many things can be misplaced;
Your very memories be erased.
No matter what the time or space,
You cannot lose my love.
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose my love.
And it is this love, that if we will let it, will lead us to true repentance: not of our losses, but of our sins. In fact, this love may even restore us. But we mustn't repent for the restoration of our position, we must repent for the renewal of our characters, and the salvation of our souls.
Personally, I must confess that I have fallen into the trap of worshiping my reputation. Of asking my church leaders how I'm doing. Of worrying about taking a stand because it may offend someone or cause them to think less of me. And today I pray God will forgive and work in me a genuine repentance.
Prayer: Father God, forgive me for worshipping at the alter of reputation. Forgive me for prostituting myself to the fickle fancies of public opinion. Father, I need the courage of David. I need the boldness of Paul. I don't want to lead for the praise of people. I want to lead for the glory of Your Name. And to do so, I must daily follow in the footsteps of Your Son Jesus.
So lead me on dear Jesus. Lead me to that place where you were in John 2:
"Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to testify concerning man, for He Himself knew what was in man." (John 2:24-25 NAS95S)
May I entrust myself to no man, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. You alone are my trust Jesus. You alone are my safety. There is no where else to turn. No one else worthy of my allegiance. Let me look to You alone, and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, that He may guide me safely home.
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